FergusonPoetryProject LLC

Understanding the Heart as the Greatest Deceiver

In the Bible, the heart is often referred to as the center of our emotions, desires, and will. However, scripture warns us about the dangers of trusting our hearts blindly. In Jeremiah 17:9, it states, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” This verse reveals a profound truth: our hearts, while capable of love and compassion, can also lead us astray, clouding our judgment with emotions and desires that are contrary to God’s will.

For both men and women, this concept is critical in the context of marriage. Often, our hearts can deceive us into prioritizing our feelings, desires, or even misunderstandings above our commitment to God and each other. This is why it’s important to guard our hearts and align them with God’s truth, ensuring that our emotions and desires are filtered through His Word and not merely through our own understanding.

God First, Spouse Second, Children Third: A Divine Order

In a God-centered marriage, the divine order of priorities is crucial. The first and foremost priority must always be your relationship with God. Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” When both husband and wife place God at the center of their lives, everything else—including their marriage—falls into its rightful place.

1. God First: Both husband and wife must nurture their personal relationship with God. This includes regular prayer, study of scripture, and worship. When God is your primary focus, His wisdom and love guide your actions and decisions, providing a firm foundation for your marriage.
2. Spouse Second: After God, your spouse should be your highest priority. Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands to love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This love is sacrificial, patient, and enduring. For wives, Ephesians 5:22 encourages submission to their husbands “as to the Lord,” meaning that wives should respect and support their husbands in a manner that honors God. This mutual love and respect create a strong, unified partnership that reflects God’s love.
3. Children Third: While children are a blessing and should be cherished, they should not take precedence over the marriage relationship. Parenting should be a partnership where both husband and wife work together to raise their children in the fear and knowledge of God, as Proverbs 22:6 advises: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” By keeping the marriage strong, parents provide a stable, loving environment that benefits the entire family.

Practical Application in Marriage

1. Communication and Prayer: Regular communication and prayer together are essential. Pray for wisdom and guidance, asking God to help you see past the deception of your own hearts and to seek His will above your own. James 1:5 assures us that “if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
2. Forgiveness and Grace: Understand that your spouse is not perfect, and neither are you. Just as God extends grace and forgiveness to us, we must do the same for each other. Ephesians 4:32 urges us to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
3. Shared Vision and Goals: Align your goals and visions for the future with God’s plan for your life. This includes discussing how you both can grow spiritually, support each other’s individual callings, and raise your children in a godly environment.
4. Guarding Your Hearts Together: Finally, commit to guarding your hearts together. This means being vigilant against influences—whether internal or external—that could lead you away from God or from each other. Philippians 4:7 offers a powerful promise: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

By understanding the deceptive nature of the heart and prioritizing your relationship with God first, your marriage becomes a reflection of God’s love and order. This divine structure not only strengthens your bond but also provides a nurturing environment for your children, setting the stage for a family life that glorifies God.